The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" My tongue still craves your kind of sweet baby. Daniel Tosh. If there is a food that tastes like you I would definitely get a supply of those forever. Easy Copy & Paste! Snickers he only snickers! 150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter. Chocolate Tessellation inspired me to mix cacao and cocoa alphabetically, but that made me sneeze: aaaccccooo!. Returning visitor? We suggest to use only working chocolate chocolate milk piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Want to share this lovely candy bar with me and possibly a lifetime? Chocolate is an excellent energy booster, but it can make kids go crazy if they overeat. Among lifes mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolate can make a person gain five pounds. They had a baby, Ruth. 1. I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves. Have you seen all jokes? 5. Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. Darling you are enough sweet for me. My wife hates it when I swap her chocolate bar wrappers around. Whos there? No, the boy replied. Lets get right into the chocolate silliness and dive right in. Nursing Home With much tutting, the dentist examined all her teeth. A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. People can't help being thrown off when slang for testicles are suddenly part of the conversation! What did you guys do? Nothing else comes to mind to finish this rhyme, so I'll just spit it out - most importantly, you gave us the Star Wars . You can use them to display text, links, images, HTML, or a combination of these. Here we have funny cookie jokes that include some funny chocolate chip cookies' jokes, sugar cookie jokes, a joke about a cookie sheet, and a Christmas cookie joke that'll make your heart full of laughter. Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. A mootation. What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? The latest good news for chocolate lovers comes from a study indicating that flavonoids in chocolate are good for your heart. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! You can laugh out loud together with your friends with these chocolate jokes and riddles. Here are 50 funny Elf jokes, including Elf jokes for kids. Mustering one final effort, he threw himself toward the table. 84. ChocoLATE. "You mean J.C? I love a man with chocolate on his breath. Vegetable Jokes. Egg Jokes. Some of our greatest chocolate jokes are here! A: Proofreading. I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe, Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? Keep calm and eat cookies. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" It's so cold my shadow froze on the sidewalk. Chocolate fantasy in progress. As long as its chocolate. Q: How do you confuse a complete moron? He dips his nuts in chocolate. - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. A Double Decker. I like my cocoa maragnan just like I like my nights full of flavor because of you. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. Bad knees.. Being with you is like getting into cloud nine full of sweets. Darling, you are like chocolate, you make everything better. Your email address will not be published. Round at the bottom, skinny at the top. Cadbury is an international chocolate brand that is loved by many. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. What did the Hersheys bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate? You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts. Our team has some to share with you. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! If you are interested in more jokes and puns, take a look at Cookie Puns and Baking Puns. Because he was choco-LATE for the bus! A man found a bottle on the beach. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." What's the difference between kinky and perverted? A Ferrari Rocher! Copy This. Chocolate bar prices have really gone up. ChocoLATE Apparently, Cadburys is making an oriental chocolate bar. One large, ongoing study of the benefits of exercise found that men who eat chocolate in moderation live longer than those who eat none. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Can I have chocolate filling please?. A new hybrid. Copy This. One day while the older man was away from his desk, the young man couldnt resist and went to the old mans jar and ate over half the peanuts. Because she was a Her-She-y bar! What does that have to do with anything?" To get chocolate milk. It gets her Snickers in a Twix. As much as chocolate, perhaps. If our research results continue to support a link between consumption of flavanol-rich cocoa and nitric oxide synthesis, there could be significant implications for public health. Linda Grayson, The Printwick Papers. 75 FANTASTIC Baby Jokes That Are Undeniably Cute! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!" ", A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? Chocolates have the power to change peoples moods, and a box of chocolate will make most people happy also these chocolate one liners. a!. I'm just happy to see you. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. One snatches your watch. Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. A rocky road! I feel better already with you holding my hand, sweets arent even needed. Q: Whats the technical difference between cacao and cocoa? Cao-cao! Chocolate are always better when shared with you. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. Take a closer look at the list of short chocolate jokes! At home it is always sweet o clock. It's so cold even prisoners are begging for the electric chair. Ouch you are giving me a good kind of toothache just because of your sweetness. "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? What does a person with no arms say when trying to eat a Hersheys Kiss? (LogOut/ There was a convertible. They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. We allow other website publishers to quote small snippets of text. A chocolate shake. Candy, who? Please sign up with your best email address. Are you chocolate? Dear Star Wars, let us count the reasons we love you. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This is a text widget, which allows you to add text or HTML to your sidebar. Are you ready? Hello You brighten up my day like only drizzle on strawberries can. Mel Gibson, Chocolate is the greatest gift to women ever created, next to the likes of Paul Newman and Gene Kelly. Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. Dave Barry, Eating chocolate can have significant influences on mood, generally leading to an increase in pleasant feelings and a reduction in tension. You can give without loving, but you cant love without giving, and the gift of chocolate is the most loving of all. "No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business. Youre like a sweet because Id like to drizzle you on any food and still not get enough of you. I do not want anything fancy just you and a whole bowl of flavored ice cream. Use these chocolate related pick up lines about different types of chocolate like candy bars, donuts, cake, drinks, and more. Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, Saturday Night Live, As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. Coffee, chocolate, men some things are just better rich. They had a baby, Ruth. Chocolate JokesWhat did the M&M go to college?Because he wanted to be a Smarty.What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?Chocolate Chip Wookiee.Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar?Sniggas.What does a box of chocolate and life have in common?They dont last long for fat people.Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk?A mootation.My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate.Everyone got a piece.Why did people make white chocolate?So black kids could get dirty faces too.When it comes to stealing chocolate barsI have a couple twix up my sleeve.Kids these days are so stupid.They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. A PayDay. The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy is an American animated television series created by Maxwell Atoms for Cartoon Network.The series originally premiered as segments of Grim & Evil on August 24, 2001. Hershey. The theme may be cold and as thick as heavy snow, but these jokes will fill the room with warm and cozy laughter! So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. 1 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scooter: Haunted Explorations - Overnight Challenge - Exploring With Josh! Why did the M&M go to University? Sandra Boynton, Other things are just food. Change). What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . I am always ready for something sweet like you. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Chalk-o-late! Never eat more chocolate than you can lift. I feel better already. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. Kuhtuhluh Report. I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses That way, at least youll get one thing done. Nothing is more romantic than chocolate. Chocoearly. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes? For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex. Mostly disappointing. TheLaughFactory. Peter Rogers, Ph.D., Institute of Food Research. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Are you chocolate spread? I do not need anything special because you are enough special in my life. Dark chocolate chimp. Are you cold? Roblox Rap Battle Roasts Copy And Paste Good agdt Click to copy press down alt for multiple From puns to jokes at your mama's expense, these hilarious rap lyrics prove that rapping and being funny can go hand-in-hand Roblox roasts copy and paste - ds 9% faster on average with a solid-state drive 9% faster on average with a Choose one of the browsed Copy And Paste Songs For Roblox lyrics . The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. ao! Babe can I get a cookie that tastes like you? - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. I think it was an Aero plane.I once saw people arguing over the last piece of chocolate. Thanks. Nursing Home. I hate Bounty Hunters. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. Of course, the same arguments can as persuasively be made in favor of dirt. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Food Puns. Chocolate chimp! I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. Can you be my mocha? We're also sorry the chocolate is half-eaten. Health Bagel Jokes. Dont they actually counteract each other? Want to see those? #3. How about I make you happy this time? Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? After a bar of chocolate one can forgive anybody, even ones relatives. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Furtiveness makes it better. God is watching the apples. Imogen. The total text used must be less than one paragraph, and the website must give credit to and link back to this page. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? The young man noticed that the older man always had a jar of peanuts on his desk. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. With these dirty chocolate jokes, youll make your lady smile. These compounds reduce the stickiness of platelets, cells that play an important role in blood clotting. We can feel a lot of emotions when we eat chocolate. Well, jokes about chocolate can be funny or at least mildly amusing. Whats the best part of Valentines Day? What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! "I know . Who doesnt love Hershey chocolate jokes? What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar? Add love and sweet chocolate to your romantic life today. Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate. Judith Viorst. Hot chocolate. Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. - Chocolate Joke [2] Jokes 4 Us - Chocolate Joke [3] Fun Kids Jokes - Chocolate Joke [4] Worst Jokes Ever - Chocolate Joke [5] MyTownTutors - Chocolate Joke [6] SuperJokes - Chocolate Joke [7] Ireland Calling - Chocolate Joke Thomas Jefferson, All of the evil that people have thrust upon chocolate is really more deserved by milk chocolate, which is essentially contaminated. And cause them long for you know what, If they but taste of chocolate. My love for you is like hot chocolate, I just cant hold on to it. Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing? The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pope retorts "Chocolates? When the old man returned, the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts. My day got sprinkled with love! With labored breath, he leaned against the door, gazing into the kitchen. (LogOut/ She also ate every letter in her name, but left me feeling good: oo! Deal? I love chocolate to eat. My favorite place in the world is cuddled next to you nibbling something sweet. How dairy, who? Tap To Copy. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? Chocolate is the greatest gift it was really great choice for gifting. The perfect Valentines Day treat for anyone who loves chocolate (which is pretty much everyone). Candy cow jump over the moon? Because he wants to become a smartie. Decad-ant Marquise de Svign, Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! Chocolate doesnt make the world go round, but it sure does make the trip worthwhile! Are you chocolate milk? You have this capability of making my taste buds so happy and I love that. Cacao. October 5, 2021 Here, have a carrot! Baby I am only tempted by two things: you and chocolate. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. I only wanted a weeks supply of sweets instead I got a lifetime supply because I got you. Girl youre like a ganache cause you make this cake better just like you make my day better. Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. 3 What did the egg say to the clown? Cheese Jokes. Look, theres no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. He rubs it and a genie appears. Because I would love to make up for if you let me. We have a fun collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles, and puns about chocolate that are clean and safe to use. Once you consume chocolate, chocolate will consume you. Chocolate left in a car? What do you call stolen cocoa? Are your legs made of Nutella? Q: What job function does a complete moron have in an M&M factory? A Candy Baa. What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month? Hernando Corts, 1519, If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. Can you fit any more Milky Way Chocolate Bars into your desk drawer there, Jim? Plane Chocolate! You could put all the sweets business if you will be consistently sweet like that. From clever Valentine's Day puns to corny dad jokes to adorable knock-knock jokes, these hilarious ideas will get all the giggles. ", and the jamaican said " mek wi go back to the store,me ago show yuh a who a the real tief". Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? Cao-cao! Men always leave but chocolate is forever! How do you know its cold outside? Michael Levine, nutrition researcher. He rubbed it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. Required fields are marked *. T-Shirts & Bumper Stickers 55 Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Binge, 97 Funny Animal Jokes From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. Your email address will not be published. Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. Ah, chocolate: one of life's simple pleasures. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? Susan Isaacs, The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE! The star of the family friendly "Full House" and "Fuller House" series and host of the even more G-rated "America's . John Travolta, Dont wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. A handful of the funniest chocolate jokes will make your holiday celebration dramatic and merriment-filled. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. Mother to son: "I'm warning you. Its important we remember the true meaning of Easter That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke ", Darling I will supply you with stash of sweets and my never ending love for you. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Friend 1: Maybe you should go to hell! Because I would like to purchase a sweet like you. These chocolate knock-knock jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. Whos there? Why did the donut visit the dentist? Wanna take the joke a little far? The Greek term theobroma (Latin name for cacao) means literally food of the gods. Now, isnt that handy? Whats the opposite of choco-late? . You're welcome. Theres M&M shells all over the floor. You are 10x delectable than any sweet food I know in this world. I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog. We believe chocolate consumption may have the same effect. Diabetes. Chocolate Chewbacca cookies! The three best pleasures in life are scratching, sneezing and eating chocolate. I want to take all my breaks talking to you. . In a hotel sweet.What do you call a lamb dipped in chocolate? Because you're making me drool. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. Because he wanted to be a Smartie. Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Its summertime, which means chocolate jokes are right up your alley if youre feeling the heat. Dairy? Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826). He slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and, with even greater effort, forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. A: Ask him to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. Are you a chocolate bar? But he minded his own business.. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. 3. Imogen life without chocolate! There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. If you found these funny cookie jokes and puns ful-filling, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these: Baker Jokes. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? @. If Jake has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have? Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. Addiction & Guilt Laugh more: 87 Car Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy. The only favorite thing I have in this cruel world aside from sweets is having you in my life. He also suggested cocoa butter for skin treatment, piles and gout. Friend 2: Well, untill you live, you could go to Africa, and after you die, say to God that you've already been to hell. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. Diabetes.. Jake has diabetes Your email address will not be published. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. What is the meaning of life? A: He threw out the Ws. 1. Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful! Whether you like it dark, milk, or white, there is something so satisfying and decadent about enjoying some chocolate.But aside from being delicious, chocolate can also be funny. No, that's not an epi-pen in my pants. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. Kids these days are so stupid. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. ", A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. My final hope for a smokin' hot body! One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." One liner tags: Christmas, dirty, kids, sport. Chocolates are an excellent energy-booster, but they go extremely wild when kids have overeaten. Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. Yo mamma so fat, when she walked out of candy land there was nothing left! Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. Chocolate Stores Where to Buy Chocolate, Coverquotes Click N Collect | Click and Collect, You Can Keep Your Heart and Brain Healthy with the Right Chocolate, Scientists Say. You never know what youre gonna get. Are you chocolate milk? Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. Flowers and champagne may set the stage, but its chocolate that steals the show. Santa's little helpers sure do have a sense of humor. Exercise is a dirty word Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." There was a million dollars. Do you love chocolate or hot cocoa? No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. What do you call a womanising chocolate? Its something that should be had on a daily basis. Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. His aged and withered hand painstakingly made its way toward a cookie when it was suddenly smacked by a spatula. I learned to love sweets because of you and I am thankful for that. A chocolate chip cutie! Bob Greene, Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers. Telling deez nuts jokes is a funny way to direct a conversation into utter nonsense! I identify as a chocolate bar. - Jack Whitehall. Chocolate mousse! Our selection of dark chocolate jokes ranging from chocolate bars to chocolate cookies will make you laugh so hard. "People think I hate sex. Because you are the sweetest. Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. How dairy steal my chocolate! Because I am returning this cake cause I realize youre enough. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? In this cookie we call life, you're the chocolate chips. Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. What candy is only for girls? Sniggas. A Mars bar. Required fields are marked *. You wont ever need to bring me sweet food, I like you enough. Diet Advice Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you dont need an appointment. What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack? Feel better now? The old man responded, Thats ok. Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate. I can't help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars snickers. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! You have this effect on me I only feel upon eating chocolate. Whats a monkeys favourite kind of chocolate? Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. Are you chocolate spread? Baby I can never get enough of your sweetness like I can never get enough of chocolate. I know youre a chocolate lover and want to have some fun with your friend, so that will help you. What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate? So it fits in the box. Penny Kris-Etherton, Ph.D., Pennsylvania State University, Chocolate just stands out [for antioxidant content]. I do not want a piece of you because I wanted the whole lot of you. I do recommend a piece of good-quality dark chocolate as a healthy snack . 20 Chocolate Puns. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. I will not ever need sweets if I already have you in my life. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. I dont like sweets but baby you are an exception to that rule. A Skor! The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. 3.14159265. Why? A Kitty Kat bar! Candy! Jokes, A new British survey has revealed that 9 out of 10 people like Chocolate. The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money. 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. Alicia Silverstone, The taste of chocolate is a sensual pleasure in itself, existing in the same world as sex For myself, I can enjoy the wicked pleasure of chocolate entirely by myself. Are you Willy Wonka? Q: Why do complete morons hate M&Ms? Better late than never, right? You gave us the Wookiees, you gave us the thrills, you gave us the Adam Driver memes, and you gave us the spills. How do you know it's cold outside? More jokes about: animal, blonde, chocolate, stupid. Stay out of those, said his wife, theyre for the funeral., A young girl was at the dentist for a check up. I cant stand eating Turkey two days in a row. Babe you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. I always carry chocolate instead. Copy This. Debbie and Dilly Dalton: In the early years, identical blonde twins Debbie and Dilly Dalton appeared. What does it do before it rains candy? 66 Frozen Yogurt and Ice Cream Pick Up Lines, 147 Deli Pick Up Lines (Meat Cold Cut, Cheese, Bread, Sandwich). Patrick Skene Catling. The police are trying to catch him, but hes always got a few Twix up his sleeve!