He too was in middle of divorce. He threatened a restraining order. 2. Any input to create more understanding would be greatly appreciated. I already have one of those! And he became very angry. Rebuild yourself. Its quite sick reading all these things that so well describes him. Its getting scary, and that is an understatement by far. He was always chatting with so called female friends. He currently has my son and Im afraid he will attempt to make me look unstable, so he can give him away, to further hurt me. Once money is here i will buy the cowries and go straight to the cemetery and deposit it there, and you will start seeing changes that same day, even within three hours i promise because that spirits instant result like the speed of light. He had me call up my landlord and give 30 days. It gave us plenty more time to talk. I asked him if he was seeing anyone; he replied that he was but that he was about to end it. I was already over it. anyway he used this situation to his advantage I haD many breakdown obviously not infront of him but found is painful being away from my child. In my case, I believe my next move this week is a phone call to set up an appointment with a therapist. undefined Continue. Long distance relationship, we went on holiday and on the 3rd day found out he was hiding a serious STD from me!! Seeing me upset his reaction was Im damned if I do and damned if I dont! I cannot invite that kind of destructive crazy into my life. Nope. A version of you thats not at all close to who you really are. I think I fell in love with him that day; I thought I found my knight. He was not unfaithful, and I do believe its because he wont be with just anyone. Start enjoying your life and doing things u enjoy even the smallest things I know what u are going through because I been there and are still going through it! We are constantly off and on, I always go back. We both thought it was a little creepy. You cannot break something that was neve. Trouble set in again within approximately 6 years and he insisted I leave (which I did). I also have 2 sisters, a brother and a niece who are full blown Ns. Theyll re-enter your life as if no breakup occurred. I debated for a while but against my better judgement, I said I would when he was ready but that I wasnt going to wait the 9 years like the woman he was cheating on his wife with. That is, the feelings are being projected outwardly onto other people or things. This tendency to lose interest in the partner also explained why they had less negative emotional reactions. She was pretty pissed with him when I made it my business to show her my rings. and while they might say they have changed this is only a ploy to get you back under their thumb. I then I hear nothing. I fell into the oh Im a cool girl, I dont care, whatever trap. until he came to my house and went on his knees pleading to me that i should forgive him, so that was how we got united again with the help of great DR MAXI OWOLABI, and now we are happily married, thanks be onto Dr MAXI OWOLABI for what he has done for me, if you need his help you can contact him through owolabilovespell@hotmail.com o his phone number which is +2347059144152 and you will definitely testify of his great help and powers. I was in a relationship with an N for 8 months. Im truly ruined and dead. Good that you see him for the pos that he is. I have been able to sort through a lot of truth and I take responsibility for my part in this and I am working to be a better me. And Im sorry about your experience. I have no feelings left. I would get so upset that he didnt even need to contact me.. he completely threw himself into work. Mine ALWAYS talked about exs and compared me to them EVERY SINGLE DAY. It is easier to leave a narcissist if you cut off as much contact as possible. In the past I would not have gotten out of bed for days. I bought things for him, spent all my time with him, and allowed my life to revolve around him. that was enough to see something was not quite right. When I would try to leave he would tell me I was a horrible mother. LeaveANarc, yes I do understand, though my discard of him just happened. I am in a similar phase of break up with a woman who could be a narcissist or a sociopath or even the true heart. Like life, the break up is a cycle. No cure for such souls? This time, he stayed gone a week; he came back to get clothes and left after writing checks for the bills. Its mostly females replying to all these types of articles so really its only males to have this behaviour patten ?! So I told her Im moving out after one of her big wobbly. And my family hates hates him. This is only the tip of the iceberg! He wants to buy a house and have a life with me. Our son tried for a few months to be supportive during her pregnancy but the drama, constant threats and degrading behavior was too stressful to attempt any relationship with her. He immediately emailed me asking if I was 100% sure it was over. they tried to bully me into a 5050.and I stood firm in saying. They cant return!!! It still hurts so much how little I mattered. ), he beat me severely and that was the last straw. The. Hi Pretty, my story is, as everyone who has been with a N, exact and precisely the same. Many of them, in their desperate attempts to convince others of their superiority, are highly motivated to achieve much more than most people; this will give them something to really brag about. Im COMPLETELY RUINED snd cannot bring myself back. Well. So I did no contact for 30 days.nothing. As always, this depends on a number of factors. Well over time. After that, I was literally on the roller coaster of hell for the remaining of the relationship until I finally walked away a few months ago. He had said in these texts that I was this crappy person and this crappy personI sent a text that basically said he didnt appreciate me and I put up with alls this and thisand I listed itlike gaslighting and passive aggressive behavior. Oh I. The love-bombing stage is over. If I could go back & know what he was really planning I would have given the child for adoption. Victoria. is one of the . While narcissists have an inflated sense of pride, they have no qualms about returning to a relationship if they think it will benefit them. Oh what a surprise!! I became anxious and nervous and paranoid to what he was doing and were he was. She has been dealing with him filling her up with attempts to destroy me since she was young and able to comprehend. Youre very intelligent, I can tell that. I felt so bad for creating so much distance between them. Or his laptop. I have been so unbelievably hurt at how LITTLE this breakup has affected him. She was normal for some days and then broke up again. Those in narcissistic rivalry, on the other hand, tended to view their ex-partners especially negatively. I must admit the bit about I was 95% responsible for the abuse hurt me, as did the she is normal comment, but this is just more of the same when he is in hating mode. Thank you for the great info and strength to stay no contact.. Their shame complex. All will be fine! I went to court SEVERAL times, too many to count as soon as my child was 12, i did NOT have to deal with my ex. This is how you treat my gifts ! For all the people going through similar situations the best way is to acted like they dont exist! I found out about another woman and didnt move in with him. Ill skip forward. Translation: a woman he is prepared to tell me about. HELP! All i can say now is thanks to Dr.KATE, if you need any help from him contact him with this email omozokpialovetemple@outlook.com, he is a very powerful spell caster. I dont think my narc will even return either. We were married 19 1/2 years. Thought fate had stepped in! Why do all of their eyes have a weird film over them? Emotional abuse, lies, manipulation, and favoritism, are prevalent during visitation. Thankfully I was strong; he already has one former girlfriend, who was not stable herself, in a grave from suicide. The narcissist completely brainwashes that you are the reason for the damage of the relationship. For a month silent he comes back. They want you to pay for their early childhood trauma. etc.. Weve gone through this a few times and now that he lives here it makes it a million times harder to get him out. Keep the conversations strictly about the kids. again, best approach, NO CONTACT. This pointed description makes it clear that virtually all narcissists' offensive characteristics can best be perceived as defenses against unresolved hurts, disappointments, and painful insecurities. In addition to completing questionnaires assessing their levels of narcissism, we also asked them a series of questions about that recent breakup: How did the relationship end, how did they feel after the breakup, and how do they currently perceive their ex-partners? Have a chance of being part of the family again, but it comes at a high price. He wanted to talk, clear things up, be honest and tell me the truth so we could move forward. But maybe Im wrong, maybe he will contact me at some point. But we started having more disappearing acts; I would confront him and he would make up lies. On one hand, it is informing others about a potential threat, on the other, it is educating narcissists about how they appear to others, increasing their ability to camouflage narcissistic traits. I was able to not respond to my ex because of what you said otherwise, I might have fallen into his supply trap so thank you!!! These personality features are a reactionor better, overreactionto truly enormous self-doubt. Please reply if you read this, I need a lot of support. Try High Priest OLORUN anytime, he might be the answer to your problems. He was very generous financially; Id just started working at the truck stop the day before I met the ex and was just coming off unemployment benefits and really struggling. Your friends/family members testimony can help. Things have been very rough for the last few months with me and my girlfriend. It was totally invalidating and then I would do it because somehow I was trying to show him that if he didnt care enough to answer me, or speak to me when he came home, then I would not give him his peace he demanded). I am so tired it is hard to get up in the morning but I try and one day I will get myself out of this world if it doesnt take me first. She may never be happy period. i was propose to be marriage by a love one, but he suddenly changed his mind just because he found him self a new love, my heart was broken and so devastated to the extend of committing suicide, a friend of mine introduce me to a powerful doctor called Dr. KATE. Nothing had worked except that . I tried absolutely everything to fix the relationship. He continually crosses boundaries and violates court orders. . What I want to know is if anyone has any knowledge of NPDs who get to realisation and how that could possibly impact their behaviour and lives? Oh you dont remember? no contact and wont feel guilty like I did in the previous normal relationships. I really dont know anyone thats happy with kids. However I truly believe I was in a relationship with one for 6 years. The cost of avoiding any emotional hazards by acting in this self-protective way is that true intimacy with another remains forever beyond their reach. I have had to take her to counseling. Didnt realize how depressed and low Id become. They of course, believed their dad as he was very convincing to them and of course as you know kids are impressionable. As unfortunately I paid a hell of a price for it. I got involved with , what seemed like, Prince Charming. He was supposed to come out to LA from NYC, for a short stay. A day or two after we met, he asked me about going to a vacation in the Caribbean. The focus is their big ego! Theyre less likely to return to you if they find a consistent source of supply. He got worse in crossing every boundary I had including name calling, screaming, threatening to leave when he would come back after DAYS of not answering texts ( I felt crazy, I would text over and over demanding an answer. Against my better judgement I had to rescind the order to get the divorce. He can't go even a day without this. You will see the light, it might be months, years, but know its a better life without this blood sucking guys!! But I chopped it up to he was just nervous. During a separation from me ( there has been many) he can have this type of supply for about a week, then becomes irrational, angers easily and seeks only me . I was still be blamed, imagine..how it was right after the split up! When I compare the 2, my mother wins in the most vile and evil person on earth! She was also very intelligent being a 30 year manager in a communications bussiness ! Hear nothing for a month. Explains why narcissists behave the way they do - viewing others as prey to treat like dirt or tear down in order to prop up their delusions of superiority. I wish I would wake up. Their whole game is to be admired 24/7. You know youre over REALLY OVER a narcissist when you stop trying to put yourself in HIS SHOES (human trait hes an alien), when you stop trying to guess what theyre thinking, why they do what they do, why they think they way they think, etc you will never understand because you are HUMAN. Theres something really wrong with the abuser types but its because of their horrible mom & dad. The straw that broke the camels back was that I created a fake profile on a dating website with all of my demographics, but withy fake pictures attached. Being in a relationship with a narcissist is emotionally draining, so when one breaks up with you, it can feel like a godsend. It is possible for them to completely cut you out of their life. The narcissist needs supply and if they cant reach you, theres no opportunity to receive it. I refused. SHe never did anything for me and I changed my entire life to suit her. Im trying to decide if this guy I was seeing is a narcissist or just very selfish? He emailed me requesting to date me..I then confronted him and he became very hostilethe last exchanges we had were him attacking my character and my familyI have since blocked him on all social network sites and emailits not worth your self-respect. Calling my family members. After 20 years of marriage to an N, I have been emotionally exhausted. Its no different, but worse, 5, 10, 15 years in. However, until I actually got her out of my life and began trying to address it, I had absolutely no idea the damage was as severe and extensive as it is. I was fortunate to have a couple of people in my life male and female to point this out to me , and that in itself was truly a blessing and could very well have kept me alive to see better days ; for there were days Which I truly felt that it would be best if my life would just end! I bet many of you can and have! Only a few texts. We talked once before I had the baby, I was in the hospital, he said, Ya my moms in the hospital too. I thought is so strange that a 40 year old man would be more concerned with his mom being in the hospital than his babys mom. he manipulated my child against me while in his toddlers yrs up to the age 8, until my child was old enough to see that dad lies.. it killed him.. the trust he had built through the manipulation his dad did..was traumatizing.. my son wanted to kill himself. My last 2 relationships we had an understanding we were partners it was just certain things that we didnt agree on and parted ways amicable. I became a huge blowout among family members and him because they finally realized that he had been lying to them the whole time and had been telling them all different lies and versions of it. I just want to see if anyone here has similar experience and share your views on how to really have a clean break with a npd wife when you have kids and business together. A hand to write and technology to block contacts after what youve said or wrote but talk to yourself , take months to be alone , cry and come upto a decision. 4. Then I get a text I miss you. this is not a SPAM post like the one below. But I Am Sure That Whichever Is Not Important Compared To How Badly One Can Be Adversely Impacted From Too Much Exposure. Well I end tto make sure he comes over says. He has already moved on and made sure to rub this into my face via facebook. My heart breaks when i think of all the effort i put into loving a vain guy whod do no effort to keep me. No matter who initiated the breakup, go no contact afterward. Dont let them sneak back in after no contact has succeeded. Eight years not an interest at all in dating or meeting another man I was already strong independent and in control and anice person Than. To achieve this goal, they absorb (or steal) the energy of other people to feel good about themselves. The longer you stay away the easier it gets! It gave me , clarity. He said : I need to eat! I can feel the strength through what youve written. No man buy a new car for his separated wife that is telling him she is going to move out. My heart would sink if I laughed too much because somewhere I knew that I will end up crying. We were very much, in love and talked about the future often. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. He was creepy, before we found out what the baby was he would say things like, I really want a girl. Both narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry were related to feeling more anger right after the breakup. This is caused from the damage done over a dozen years of emotional abuse from my ex. 2. But most of us who have lived with a N for a long time, whether we are still engaged of recovered, dont need to focus on how the N feels. Punching me bitting me Grabs my phone throw it and take some keys so I run after him he tells me leave him alone. counseling will not work.. because he will make excuses but then he will find another way to con you and the people around you. I have tried only a few times to describe the indescribable world by jumping from incident to incident with the stories half told due to another story that meshes with the first and sounding so crazy to someone and the anxiety one feels while trying to even put into words what nobody could fathom unless they have experienced such a hell. Do your research on this spirit. Any advice or suggestions? If I break the No Contact rule in any way shape or form it will feed his addiction, I will have become supply again. They are afraid that you will leave them because deep down, narcissists all have a fear of abandonment that they will project on to you. Fortunately I was able to use this information and apply it to my situation. I got my wife to love just the way i wanted and i loved her just how she wanted. What happens when you ignore a narcissist who dumped you? | There is one last thing to remember, and for me, this was the reward for riding the rollercoaster of a narcissistic relationship. i was his narcissistic supply..and he needed someone to tell him how wonderful he was, how great he was..it wasnt going to be me! As with all questions related to a narcissistic ex, the answer is an unsatisfying it depends. I am so lost sad and frankly scared for mental state I have heard much the last few days as his new victim is in Mexico with him at his moms house. A Narcissist is jux lyk a pest,as to wether u tell them you are not hapy or not they jux dont care all the need ix sum1 they can abuse emotionally,dz guy I am with I taught ix a lover or a friend I love him so much and dont want to let go cos his the 1 for me ba he jux doesnt care about how I feel he claims to change but still repeats same things like;even when am sick he doesnt wait till am well before he starts to think of ways to get staffs like money from me to solve his own problems.the relationship is all about him and his problems always thats all we talk about his problems I have no say when I do he gets angry and tell me thats his lyftyle I have to leave with it @tyms he says I will changebut never does I got fed up since on countless occations he promised he will change so we can be hapy so I broke up with him 2 days ago letting him knw dat if he is ready to change he can do dat 4 anoda hu he feels deserve dat.eversince dat dae he calls and disturbs me with messages which til nw I havnt answered any of e calls or message.at e beginning they r very nice and sweet ba lyk myn he started to show up signs as early as 2months after I accepted him he startsd accting unsatisfied wit anyfyn even till e past 2 daes we broke up and each tym u wana brk up wit dem dey try pullin u bk wit emotions n u feel descieved wen u realisd u r foold,he even poisoned himself and did so many stupid staffs as I promised to let go of him.although am nt hapy but I ope to get over him soon. He constantly blamed me for everything and to a point where I really believed maybe I was high maintenance. Anyway, so I tried to talk to his mother, she was NOT hearing anything. Wow, seems to fit me to a tee. Please do everything you can to go no contact. Complications of narcissistic personality disorder, and other conditions that can occur along with it include: Relationship difficulties. It would have been nothing today but for your help. I iam going threw the same thing right now we have been together for 3 and married for 1 and it has been the worst year of my life. This is the self-doubting, recessive part of their being that, though well hidden from sight, is nonetheless afflicted with feelings and fears of inferiority. Hes been getting away with his behavior for so long, but now my kids see it also and they are back in my life again and for what it is worth; this is an experience. Found Acyclovir in his suitcase I discovered it by chance when he was up and down to the toilet all night and saw his sores down below the shock!! after the last argument they ended the relationship yet again broke my heart!!! Thanks to the information I was able to research, I learned a huge amount of information on the subject. In doing so, they also might slander you, bringing up all the things you did wrong in the relationship (true or not). lack of empathy. In consequence, they needed to develop potent defenses against the loneliness, rejection, hurt, and humiliation inextricably linked to such parenting. A police officer even told him to leave me alone. Within about 4 to 5 months of meeting her I knew my health & well being was starting to be negatively impacted by her presence in my life. Im really upset as what we had was really special and it breaks my heart to know it will end. Actually, my N didnt give a crap at all. The narcissist does whatever it takes to get what they want from you. I have read up alot about narcissist in the past and have tried to break the cycle for over two years but someone how he always manipulated his way back into our lives. he is powerful and great his contact is Kumalovespell@gmail.com you can also contact him for help. The. I am a beautiful person inside and out, and I do not deserve the way in which I have been treated. If so, then hopefully I will not hear from my ex again. I just came across this post and i felt i was rading about me. Dear friends, I am from united states i had a problem with my husband 2years ago, which lead to our break up. There is bad out there real bad take it from one who knows. I will try to give you advice on a few fronts but you have to be in the mindset that only you can pull yourself out of this mess, okay? . At one point I really believed that I was married to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I realised over a year ago that the person I was with has N behaviour. A baby is a baby, I personally had no clue what was transpiring yet. This has gone on now for this period of time, in the mean time I worked very hard on focusing on my own life. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. As time went on, I started, to have many insecurities, fears and doubts about his love for me and, my attitude and moods began to change as a result. We spent a lot of time sitting and talking at my house and when he left, spent the next several hours on the phone. Lying and covering up the awful things the abuser does. I started investigating and discovered so many lies and deceit. Its all about evil versus good they are evil , they want what you have and they cant have it they resent you for it and thankfully too stupid to realize that kids grow up and see things quite clearly. But I will get on with my life. I am far from over it. Thats my advice. Cerebral narcissists are going to become so good at manipulating others. Our son has an 19 yrs old child he raised on his own and he is a great dad.